I walked into World Market to find a gift. I found one. I was respectfully approached by one of two young women, who ask me if I was preparing for judgment day. I wonder if I look like the biggest sinner in the store, I thought to myself. Probably, was my silent answer. I smiled at both of them, trying to buy time while I attempted to size up the situation. I had nothing. Actually, I am preparing for non-judgment day, I finally replied. Who would have thought one of the best hugs of a lifetime would come from a stranger? Her heavenly perfume hidden somewhere beneath her jacket made me think devilishly. I later realized she left just a smidgen of pale lipstick on my cheek. The release of the hug created an awkward vacuum. I tried to fill the void with humor. "Listen, I am a professional shoplifter and I am working right now. We are attracting too much attention. You are going to get me fired or arrested. By the way, I slipped merchandise into your pocket," I said, punctuated with a wink. Her almost laughter dissolved into a quick search. She let me walk away.
If you enjoyed this excerpt from my autobiography, "My Life: The Part I Can Tell," please consider supporting my writing endeavor with a small donation. Thank you - Rhett Lynch